


Through An Open Book

by SilverStreaksofStardust



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pernico/Percico, Romance, SilverStreaksofStardust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverStreaksofStardust/pseuds/SilverStreaksofStardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I go back in my past to face whatever I have left" / Love is something that Nico struggles with. He can't admit his own feelings, at least not to Percy. But maybe that will all change with a book. It's called 'The House of Hades', and when Percy reads it, things can get pretty awkward between him and the son of Poseidon...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trouble Right Over the Hill

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: With the exception of my own plots/OC's, etc.; Rick Riordan owns the rest (quotes, characters, etc.).
> 
> Warnings: Percy/Nico pairing, spoilers for BoO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs | Through An Open Book   
> (no specific order):
> 
> Let Your Tears Fall - Kelly Clarkson  
> Ever Enough - A Rocket To The Moon  
> You Found Me - The Fray  
> My Tears Are Becoming A Sea - M83  
> Fix You - Coldplay  
> Moment - Nate Ruess  
> Wild Life - Hedley  
> Battle Scars - Paradise Fears

**I: PERCY**

**Trouble Right Over the Hill**

When Percy and Annabeth were discussing about New Rome and college, the son of Poseidon covered his nervous thoughts with a "whoop".

Annabeth laughed at the reaction, but Percy was secretly upset, because he wanted to stay in Camp Half-Blood. Plans were made around already—like Clarisse and Chris getting married in August. Travis asked Katie out and they were dating. Percy didn't like change, but it was spreading rapidly around Camp Half-Blood. Even Piper and Jason were planning to spend the school year in Los Angeles with Piper's dad.

"Hey! Look!" A voice shouted.

Percy scanned around, spotting the Stolls a few feet from them.

"It's a book!" Travis cried out to the interested demigods.

Annabeth cocked her head. "Huh? What book?"

"It's called The House of Hades," Conner reported. "But there's some pages missing."

"Can you read it?" Percy wondered. He was definitely curious. He and Annabeth walked over to the Stolls.

"It starts on page 278." Travis scanned the page. "Luckily it's in Ancient Greek. Annabeth, will you do the honours? I mean, you are the only bookworm here."

"Shut up, Stoll," Annabeth grumbled. She took the book, and began to read.

"Jason wasn't sure what Favonius wanted, but if facing the god of love meant forcing Nico into some sort of confession about which girl he liked, that didn't seem so bad.

'Nico, you can do this,' Jason said. 'It might be embarrassing, but it's for the scepter.'

Nico didn't look convinced. In fact he looked like he was going to be sick. But he squared his shoulders and nodded. 'You're right. I—I'm not afraid of a love god.'

Favonius beamed. 'Excellent! Would you like a snack before you go?' He plucked a green apple from his basket and frowned at it. 'Oh, bluster. I keep forgetting my symbol is a basket of unripe fruit. Why doesn't the spring wind get more credit? Summer has all the fun.'

'That's okay,' Nico said quickly. 'Just take us to Cupid.'

Favonius spun the hoop on his finger, and Jason's body dissolved into air."

Annabeth paused. "I'm not sure about this anymore. It seems kind of fishy to—um, explain about them."

"But Nico likes a girl!" Percy couldn't help but whine. "I wanna know who she is!"

"Us too!" the Stolls said in unison. The two brothers each had identical mischief grins plastered on their faces.

Annabeth glared down at the book, like it was a ticking bomb. "It's . . . it's none of your business. This is Jason's and Nico's private journey. In fact, I am going to destroy it."

"No!" the Stolls begged.

Annabeth ignored their pleads, and tossed it in the river, right where the nymphs were in.

The nymphs stared at the book curiously, and then dragged it underwater with them.

Percy stared at the fallen book, even more interested. Was there something Annabeth knew?

"Seaweed Brain," Annabeth called. "I'm going to go check on Rachel. Can you explain to Will that I need some Ibuprofen?"

"Yeah, sure." Percy heard laughter from the water. As he entered to the edge, one of the nymphs threw him the book. He caught it, figuring what Annabeth wouldn't know won't hurt her. So, he opened the next page, right where it said: **XXXVI Jason.**

Then he began to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The House of Hades: Page 280


	2. Interruptions Need a Sign

**II: PERCY**

**Interruptions Need a Sign**

'I don't need to.' Favonius tossed his bronze hoop in the air. ' _Everyone_ has the wrong impression of Cupid . . . until they meet him.'

Nico braced himself against the column, his legs trembling visibly.

'Hey, man . . .' Jason stepped toward him, but Nico waved him off.

Percy thought about the sentence. Yeah, he knew that Nico didn't like anyone touching him.

At Nico's feet, the grass turned brown and wilted. The dead patch spread outward, as if poison were seeping from the soles of his shoes.

'Ah . . .' Flavonius nodded sympathetically. 'I don't blame you for being nervous, Nico di Angelo. Do you know how _I_ ended up serving Cupid?'

'I don't serve anyone,' Nico muttered. 'Especially not Cupid.'

Percy wondered what the son of Hades had against the god of . . . love? He tried to think about any tales. He remembered Annabeth telling him the tale about Eros and Psyche. It kind of was like 'Beauty and the Beast', but then he considered Favonius' words. _"_ Everyone _has the wrong impression of Cupid . . . until they met him_."

 _Roman_. Percy amended his mistake. Weren't the Greek and Roman nature of the gods and goddesses different?

Favonius continued as if he hadn't heard. 'I fell in love with a mortal named Hyacinthus. He was _quite_ extraordinary.'

'He . . .?' Jason's brain was still fuzzy from his wind trip, so it took him a second to process that. 'Oh . . .'

'Yes, Jason Grace.' Favonius arched an eyebrow. 'I fell in love with a _dude_. Does that shock you?'

Honestly, Jason wasn't sure. He tried not to think about the details of godly lives, no matter _who_ they fell in love with. After all, his dad, Jupiter, wasn't exactly a model of good behavior. Compared to some of the Olympian love scandals he'd heard about, the West Wind falling in love with a mortal didn't seem very shocking. 'I guess not. So . . . Cupid struck you with his arrow, and you fell in love.'

Favonius snorted. 'You make it sound so simple. Alas, love is never simple. You see, the god Apollo also liked Hyacinthus. He claimed they were just friends. I don't know. But one day I came across them together, playing a game of quoits —'

There was that weird word again. 'Quoits?'

'A game with those hoops,' explained Nico, though his voice was brittle. 'Like horseshoes.'

Again, Percy wondered about Nico's knowledge. The Italian seemed so young, and vulnerable . . . at least the first time he saw him. But now, Nico was more isolated and distant.

'Sort of,' Favonius said. 'At any rate, I was jealous. Instead of confronting them and finding out the truth, I shifted the wind and sent a heavy metal ring at Hyacinthus's head and. . .well.' The wind god sighed. 'As Hyacinthus died, Apollo turned him into a flower, the hyacinth. I'm sure Apollo would've taken horrible vengeance on me, but Cupid offered me his protection. I'd done a terrible thing, but I've been driven mad by love, so he spared me, on the condition that I work for him forever.'

Percy whistled under his breath. This Cupid guy sounded like he was taking advantage of Favonius. But then again, Favonius's actions were serious.

 _Would I face or run away from a crime I deserve?_ He thought. He already faced though his own demons, ghosts, and curses. It hurt him a lot.

_CUPID._

The name echoed through the ruins again.

'That would be my cue.' Favonius stood. 'Think long and hard about how you proceed, Nico di Angelo. You cannot lie to Cupid. If you let your anger rule you . . . well, your fate will be even sadder than mine.'

Jason felt like his brain was turning back to the wind. He didn't understand what Favonius was talking about, or why Nico seemed so shaken, but he had no time to think about it. The wind god disappeared in a swirl of red and gold. The summer air suddenly felt oppressive. The ground shook, and Jason and Nico drew their swords.

"What are you doing?"

Percy blinked, instinctively hiding the book behind his back. He had nearly dropped it from initial shock, but caught himself fortunately. "Huh?"

Will rubbed his face, as if exhausted. "Annabeth came over, saying you were supposed to ask me for ibuprofen."

"Right," Percy replied sheepishly. "Uh, did you . . . ?"

"Don't worry, I gave her some. But you should handle your tasks first before reading."

"Will do."

The blonde nodded, as if he was the older of the two demigods. "What are you reading? You seem . . . more thoughtful."

"It's called . . ." Percy paused. _Think, think!_ He chided. "Hm, it's just on the tip of my tongue. . ." he remembered his mom, Sally, placing one of her books on the kitchen table. " _Marley & Me_."

Instead of looking unimpressed at the lie, Will's mouth was widening into a smile. "I love that book! Such a shame when Marley dies, right? He was old, however, so it was good that they euthanized him."

"Thanks a lot!" Percy groaned, glad he got a hint. "I was probably getting to that part and you—seesh, man! Thanks a lot! Excuse me while I go to my cabin where nobody can give me spoilers!"

"Sorry," Will called after him, sounding deflated. "Uh . . . hope you still enjoy the book!"

Percy settled in his cabin, for once grateful that nobody was there. He eagerly flipped to his page, taking a deep breath.

_So._

The voice rushed past Jason's ear like a bullet. When he turned, no one was there.

_You came to claim the scepter._

Nico stood at his back, and for once Jason was glad to have the guy's company.

"'For _once'_?" Percy squinted at the words. "Dude, Nico is awesome! Man, Jason needs to work on his choice of words."

'Cupid,' Jason called, 'where are you?'

The voice laughed. It definitely didn't _sound_ like a cute baby angel's. It sounded deep and rich, but also threatening—like a tremor before a major earthquake.

_Where you least expect me_ , Cupid answered. _As Love always is._

Something slammed into Jason and hurled him across the street. He toppled down a set of steps and sprawled on the floor of an excavated Roman basement.

_I would think you'd know better, Jason Grace._ Cupid's voice whirled around him. _You've found true love, after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?_

_"_ I won't call it true love," Percy commented. "More like _barf_."

Nico scrambled down the steps. 'You okay?'

"You're too nice, for a guy who just _started_ to appreciate your company."

Jason accepted his hand and got to his feet. 'Yeah. Just sucker punched.'

_Oh, did you expect me to play fair?_ Cupid laughed. _I am the god of love. I am_ never _fair._

This time, Jason's senses were on high alert. He felt the air ripple just as an arrow materialized, racing toward Nico's chest.

Jason intercepted it with his sword and deflected it sideways. The arrow exploded against the nearest wall, peppering them with limestone shrapnel.

They ran up the steps. Jason pulled Nico to one side as —

"Percy?"

" _What!"_ Percy snapped. He looked into the frightened eyes of Piper.

"I, um . . . " Piper slowly edged closer to the green-eyed boy. "Is this a bad time?"

Percy let out a sigh. "Sorry, I just . . . I feel like _masturbating_."

"Oh." Piper blinked. "Well, um, okay. Guess I should just —" She looked closely at Percy. "Are you kidding?"

"I feel like _humping_ ," Percy replied, putting emphasis on the last word.

Piper ran out of the cabin quickly.

Percy decided to be more prepared the next time. So he hastily wrote a sign: **KEEP OUT!** With **OR DIE!** as an afterthought, hanging it on the Cabin door. There. That should take care of things.

"Can't a person just read in silence?" he shouted to his bedroom's walls.

Of course, there was no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The House of Hades: Pages 283—285


	3. If You Only Knew

**III: PERCY**

**If You Only Knew**

Jason pulled Nico to one side as another gust of wind toppled a column that would have crushed him flat.

'Is this guy Love or Death?' Jason growled.

"Exactly what I was thinking, bro." Percy chuckled. Sometimes he and the son of Jupiter were alike in some ways. Shockingly. Wait, was that a pun?

 _Ask your friends,_ Cupid said.  _Frank, Hazel and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder. _

_"_ Yes! They finally mentioned my name!" Percy wanted to pump his fist, but maybe that was too much enthusiasm. He wondered why he didn't read books back then. They were so fun! He just wanted to spend hours reading this story in particular.

 _Well, nearly dying and saving the world prevents you from relaxing_ , Percy reflected, biting his lip. When could he _ever_ rest? Or will people need to depend on him solely? Gods, he had his parents—Paul and Sally . . .

Friends, which was pretty much everyone in Camp Half-Blood. Even Clarisse.

And . . . Nico.

Who was he considered? Percy wanted to protect the son of Hades, but the younger demigod pushed him away . . .

Percy returned to the book.

'We just want the scepter!' Nico shouted. 'We're trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the god's side or not?'

A second arrow hit the ground between Nico's feet and glowed white-hot. Nico stumbled back as the arrow burst into a geyser of flame.

_Love is on every side_ , Cupid said. _And no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you._

'Great,' Jason said. 'Now he's sprouting greeting card messages.'

Movement behind him: Jason spun, slicing his sword through the air. His blade bit into something solid. He heard a grunt and he swung again, but the invisible god was gone. On the paving stones, a trail of golden ichor shimmered—the blood of the gods.

_Very good, Jason,_ Cupid said. _At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage._

'So now I get the scepter?' Jason asked.

Cupid laughed. _Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them._

'But . . . ' Jason wavered. He _was_ an officer. He was praetor.

Then he remembered all his second thoughts about where he belonged. In New Rome, he'd offered to give up his position to Percy Jackson. Did that make him unworthy to lead a legion of Roman ghosts?

He decided to face that problem when the time came.

'Just leave that to us,' he said. 'Nico can summon—'

The third arrow zipped by Jason's shoulder. He couldn't stop it in time. Nico gasped as it sunk into his sword arm.

'Nico!'

The son of Hades stumbled. The arrow dissolved, leaving no blood and no visible wound, but Nico's face was tight with rage and pain.

'Enough games!' Nico shouted. 'Show yourself!'

_It is a costly thing,_ Cupid said, _looking on the true face of Love._

Another column toppled. Jason scrambled out of its way.

_My wife Psyche learned that lesson,_ Cupid said. _She was brought here eons ago, when this was the site of my palace. We met only in the dark. She was warned never to look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster. One night, she lit a candle, and beheld my face as I slept._

'Were you _that_ ugly?" Jason thought he had zeroed in on Cupid's voice—at the edge of the amphitheater about twenty yards away—but he wanted to make sure.

Percy rolled his eyes. Who cared about Jason? For once, shut up and just focus back to Nico! He turned to page, skipping to a part that caught his eye.

'Stop it!' Nico yelled. 'It's me you want. Leave him alone!'

Jason's ears rang. He was dizzy from getting smacked around. His mouth tasted like limestone dust. He didn't understand why Nico would think of himself as the main target, but Cupid seemed to agree.

"Of course; it's not all about you, Jason," Percy snorted out loud.

_Poor Nico di Angelo._ The god's voice was tinged with disappointment. _Do you know what_ you _want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you_ — _what have you risked in my name?_

"I've been to Tartarus and back," Nico snarled. "You don't scare me."

_I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest._

Jason pulled himself up.

Around Nico, the ground shifted. The grass withered, and the stones cracked as if something was moving in the earth beneath, trying to push its way through.

'Give us Diocletin's scepter,' Nico said. 'We don't have time for games.'

_Games?_ Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. _Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work_ — _a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you_ — _especially truth. Only then does it yield rewards._

"Skip one paragraph," Percy muttered.

'Nico,' he called, 'what does this guy _want_ from you?'

_Tell him, Nico di Angelo,_ Cupid said. _Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are so alone._

Nico let loose a guttural scream. The ground at his feet split open and skeletons crawled forth—dead Romans with missing hands and caved-in skulls, cracked ribs, and jaws unhinged. Some were dressed in the remnants of togas. Others had glinting pieces of armor hanging off their chests.

_Will you hide among the dead, as you always do?_ Cupid taunted.

Percy clenched his hands that were already forming into fists. He _knew_ that Nico was frightened with whatever he had to face.

Waves of darkness rolled off the son of Hades. When the hit Jason, he almost lost consciousness—overwhelmed by hatred and fear and shame. . .

Images flashed though his mind. He saw Nico and his sister on a snowy cliff in Maine, Percy Jackson protecting them from a manticore. Percy's sword gleamed in the dark. He'd been the first demigod Nico had ever seen in action.

Later, at Camp Half-Blood, Percy took Nico by the arm, promising to keep his sister Bianca safe. Nico believed him. Nico looked into his sea-green eyes and thought, _How can he possibly fail? This is a real hero._ He was Nico's favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life.

"I've failed you," Percy whispered out loud. He blinked the tears that already formed in his eyes. Had he lost his connection with Nico? Was he the problem why the Italian became inflicted with so much pain and hatred for his life?

Jason saw the moment when Percy returned and told Nico that Bianca was dead. Nico had screamed and called him a liar. He'd felt betrayed, but still. . .when the skeleton warriors attacked, he couldn't let them harm Percy. Nico had called on the earth to swallow them up, and then he'd run away—terrified of his own powers, and his own emotions.

Jason saw a dozen more scenes like this from Nico's point of view . . . And they left him stunned, unable to move or speak.

Meanwhile, Nico's Roman skeletons surged forward and grappled with something invisible. The god struggled, flinging the dead aside, breaking off ribs and skulls, but the skeletons kept coming, pinning the god's arms.

_Interesting!_ Cupid said. _Do you have the strength, after all?_

'I left Camp Half-Blood because of love,' Nico said. 'Annabeth . . . she —'

_Still hiding,_ Cupid said, smashing another skeleton to pieces. _You do not have the strength._

'Nico,' Jason managed to say, 'it's okay. I get it.'

Nico glanced over, pain and misery washing across his face.

'No, you don't,' he said. 'There's no way you can understand.'

_And so you run away again,_ Cupid chided. _From your friends, from yourself.'_

'I don't have friends!' Nico yelled. 'I left Camp Half-Blood because I don't belong! It'll never belong!'

The skeletons had Cupid pinned now, but the invisible god laughed so cruelly that Jason wanted to summon another bolt of lightning. Unfortunately, he doubted he had the strength.

Nico's voice was like broken glass. 'I—I wasn't in love with Annabeth.'

'You were jealous of her,' Jason said. 'That's why you didn't want to be around her. Especially why you didn't want to be around . . . him. It makes total sense.'

Percy's eyes quickly re-read. Nico was jealous of Annabeth? But . . . what does that exactly mean?

All the fight and denial seemed to go out of Nico at once. The darkness subsided. The Roman dead collapsed into bones and crumbled to dust.

'I hated myself,' Nico said. 'I hated Percy Jackson.'

Percy blinked at the words. He reviewed everything he could possibly have to make Nico's anger turn out at _him_. Percy swallowed hard. He deserved Nico's anger. Scanning down, he read farther.

'I had a crush on Percy,' Nico spat. 'That's the truth. That's the big secret.'

He glared at Cupid. 'Happy now?'

For the first time, Cupid's eyes seemed sympathetic. 'Oh, I wouldn't say Love always makes you happy." His voice sounded smaller, much more human. 'Sometimes it makes you incredibly say. But at least you've _faced_ it now. That's the only way to conquer me.'

Cupid dissolved into the wind.

Percy's eyes bulged at the following words. What—? How—? When—?

Slowly, pieces began to form. _You were jealous of her_ , Jason had commented.

 _But then if Nico had a crush on me_ , Percy wondered, _why does he hate me?_

On the ground where he'd stood lay an ivory staff three feet long, topped with a dark globe of polished marble about the size of a baseball, nestled on the backs of three gold Roman eagles. The scepter of Diocletian.

Nico knelt and picked it up. He regarded Jason, as if waiting for an attack. 'If the others found out —"

'If the others found out,' Jason said, 'you'd have that many more people to back you up, and unleash the fury of the gods on anybody who gives you trouble.'

Nico scowled. Jason still felt resentment and anger rippling off him.

'But it's your call,' Jason added. 'Your decision to share or not. I can only tell you —"

"I don't feel that way anymore,' Nico muttered. 'I mean...I gave up on Percy. I was young and impressionable, and I—I don't . . . '

His voice cracked, and Jason could tell the guy was about to get teary-eyed. Whether Nico had really given up on Percy or not, Jason couldn't imagine what it had been like for Nico all those years, keeping a secret hat would've been unthinkable to share in the 1940's, denying who he was, feeling completely alone - even more isolated than other demigods.

'Nico,' he said gently, 'I've seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest.'

Nico looked up uncertainly. 'We should get back to the ship.'

'Yeah. I can fly us —'

'No,' Nico announced. 'This time we're shadow-travelling. I've had enough of the winds for a while.'

Percy dropped the book on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He _had_ to do something. Gods, Nico went through every painful, hurting, and . . . every damn other bad feeling.

Rubbing his neck, he squeezed his eyes shut. How was he so . . . _stupid_? So oblivious?

That must explain why Nico kept far away. He was afraid of rejection, in more ways than one.

The son of Poseidon formed a plan, as he dropped the book on his bed. He was going to talk to Nico. Right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The House of Hades: Pages 283—285


	4. Let Your Tears Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without farther ado, I give you the FINAL chapter of Through An Open Book. Hope you enjoy! I didn't notice that Nico's point of view was in first person. Sorry for the instant switch, but I think it's better this way.
> 
> Warning: Remember, this is Pernico. No Solangelo or Percabeth. Personally, I don't mind any ship as long as the story is good, you know?

**IV: NICO**

**Let Your Tears Fall**

I spent the last three hours with Will Solace lecturing me. I could hear parts like "no more shadow-travelling"—"eat three meals and a snack—"three days still" but mostly zoned out.

_When I made my way up the hill to finally tell Percy, he was gone. I swear I just saw him, like, a moment ago. My ears couldn't help but catch his laugh a mile away. His aura—it was strong, smelling of sea and . . . blue cookies?_

_I looked around a final time, before arriving back to Will._

"Nico?"

I looked over to see Will's concerned expression. "Sorry, I . . . I was just thinking."

Will's expression softened. "You have some visitors. Jason, Hazel, and Frank."

"Hazel and Frank?" I questioned. The both of them were supposed to be in the Roman camp by now.

"Hazel heard about you, and came straight back, pulling Frank along."

"Oh."

The door opened, and the daughter of Pluto and son of Mars rushed in.

"Nico? Are you okay?" Hazel asked frantically. "Sorry, but we had a run-in with birds."

"They were _nasty_ ," Frank grumbled.

I stared at the both of them. The Romans were covered head-to-toe with white feathers, and looked like they went through a pillow fight.

"Oh, hi, Will," Hazel said to the blond.

Will nodded, looking uneasy. "I'll leave you alone with Nico."

"Wait—! Sorry!" Jason zoomed in, wind literally whooshing around him. He crashed into Will, who was knocked to the ground. "Sorry, Will."

"No problem." Will got up on his feet. "Next time, I should put up a sign: _No running in the Infirmary_. Oh, wait, there _is_ one. Which all three of you broke!" Will was trying to keep a straight face, but revealed an amused grin. That disappeared when another body crashed into him. And once again, poor Will went down.

" _Sooo_ sorry!" cried a familiar sea-green eyed boy. "Uh . . . Will? Can you hear me?"

I watched Percy hold out a hand to Will, slightly feeling jealous. If I fell on the floor, will Percy . . . ?

Will accepted the help, letting out a sigh. "Obviously this is not my day. The infirmary is supposed to _prevent_ injuries!" He gave a disapproving look, but it was only temporarily. It was kind of a funny sight—the younger demigod was lecturing older demigods. "Nico, I'll be out for a while to check out more patients. I'll leave you with your visitors."

As he went, Percy's eyes flickered into mine.

I looked away, focusing on Hazel and Frank exchanging looks. "What?" I asked them.

"We have to leave," Hazel said. "You know, catch up with Annabeth. We'll talk to you later."

Before I could object, Hazel left with Frank, but not before I caught her winking at Jason. What was this all about?

Jason glared at Percy. "If you hurt him. . . " he threatened, yet didn't finish as he followed Hazel and Frank out the door.

Percy gave a nervous laugh. "Oh- _kay_. Don't know what's wrong with them." He pulled out the chair Will previously used (for applying cream for my wounds), scooting up at the end of my bed. "Are you okay?"

"Honestly, I'm feeling fine. Solace is just a worry-wart." I slowly registered my words, flushing. _Did I really just say 'worry-wart'?_ _To my crush?_ _Arggh_ , no, _Percy is_ not _my crush! I'm over him!_

But then why was my heart saying the opposite thing?

"I think he _likes_ you. Will Solace, I mean."

"No, we're just friends. I mean, we're both gay—well, he's bisexual—but that doesn't mean . . . " I stopped. I just said my sexuality! I spilled _everything_! And Percy was probably meaning the friendship bond, not referring to romance. He didn't look that surprised, though. "Why are you here?"

Percy winced. "Listen, Nico, I had _no_ idea that you hurt this much. I mean, Jason did say you carried a heavy burden, but you don't have to do it alone. We talked, and —"

"You guys talked about me?" I scowled. Of course. That's all Percy will ever see me—a little brother. And Jason betrayed me by telling my secret.

"I'm bad with words. Honestly, I don't even know what I say most of the times. But most of all, I'm oblivious to things."

That was true, so I just nodded while crossing my arms over my chest.

"I've got all these expectations set, and people think for me, like Annabeth. But I want to make decisions of my own. It's been a while since I've had time to gather my thoughts. Ever since Hera took away my memories, it worried me so much. _Who was I_? But when I met you, I had a thought nagging. I _know_ you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah, I gathered that when you said 'I know you' to me."

"No, its just that while I was staring, I could hear words. _"I'm scared"_. You said that to me when we first met, remember?"

Of course I remembered. I swallowed hard, as I saw Percy stand and lean in closer to me. His lips were a light pink—perfect. They curved into a smile. One that was forever endearing and left my insides melting. _He's with Annabeth_ , I reminded myself. _He's unattainable. Besides . . . he's just — being friendly_. "Actually, I wasn't speaking to you when I said that. I was speaking out loud."

"Way to ruin the moment. Then what did you say?"

"Directly to you? Well, you did comment on my collection of Mythomagic. You said 'Big collection'. I replied something like, 'I've got most of them.'"

Percy groaned. "That's my big moment? ' _Big collection'_?"

I smiled a bit. "I guess so. Um, so, why are you here again?"

"I know you have a crush on me," Percy blurted out. "Well, maybe once."

Anger and humiliation surged through my body. I never felt this vulnerable before. It hurt just to face this. This was finally the moment I had to face. I felt confident earlier, but right now? _No_. "H—How? Did Jason —?"

"From a book," he explained. "It was called _The House of Hades._ I read the part when you and Jason went to get . . . _Die-to-cretin's_ scepter?"

I was all too upset to correct the half-blood. "Who would write a book about _that_? Why —"

"No! I'm not mocking you or anything. I just wanted to say that you were brave. I know how gods and goddesses love to confuse and see pain in demigods. It's, like, their daily activity."

I looked into Percy's eyes. It was filled with so much feelings and thoughts that I never knew he could hold. He was _showing_ his life. He gasped a little, as if realizing I could _see_ him—uncover him, but he didn't avoid my gaze. His life was filled with equal or even more pain than mine. Percy watched his own friends die, and tried all he could to rescue or hold onto anything. Since Hera washed away his memories, it was the scariest experience for him.

He will do _anything_ for friends, family . . . one time he was innocent, but ever since he was put in the half-blood life, he became more dark and filled with misery. His title was Hero . . . but he didn't want to be one if that meant so much sacrifice.

"Diocletian's scepter," I whispered. "That's what Jason and me went to find. When I kept the secret—about me having a crush—I felt angry that I had to tell. Especially to the god, Cupid. You already know that I'm a Loner. It's because when I started using my powers, I couldn't control them, and I didn't have anyone to turn to for help. I was afraid that I might hurt someone. I can kind of control them now, but I don't attach myself to a person just for that reason.

"My past didn't at all measure up to what I am doing this time. Getting trapped in the jar, that was mostly embarrassing. Being stuck in the Lotus Hotel—I could manage. I was with my sister Bianca, so it made it easier. Maybe it was stupid to keep the pain with me, but I don't trust people that easily. When I met Reyna, she really understood. She knew about rejection. Hazel was helpful, too. She had to bear with her curse.

"When I met you, I couldn't help but think that you were everything—my role model, someone who was amazing. I saw that you carried a burden, too. Yet you had friends, were happy . . . I don't focus on the present. I go back in my past to face whatever I have left. I know you didn't kill Bianca, and I wasn't mad at you. I was just angry at the thought that no matter how my life gets at least a little better, something worse comes along. It destroyed me completely. That was the final thing that changed me from the happy kid to a more . . . "

"Dark emo kid?" Percy offered.

"Yeah, dark emo kid." Angry tears slipped down my face, but I refused to wipe them away. If I could spill my whole life story to a guy I had a crush on, why not? Despite the tears, I was smiling a bit at the attempted joke. "Percy . . . I understand you're with Annabeth. So, I'm happy for you both."

"No," Percy said, "Correction—gods, I've always wanted to say that to someone—I'm not with Annabeth. We did plan to go to New Rome, but I wanted to stay here. Family and Camp Half-Blood is my priority, and Annabeth's plans are not what I want. I'm the Head Counselor for the Poseidon cabin, after all. And I seriously need to visit my mom and step-dad." He gave a wry smile. "I haven't visited them in a while."

"But . . . how can you relax?"

"The Gaea War is finally over. I know there will be more quests, but right now, I want to enjoy what time I have. For example, Nico, how about we do a little sword-fight?"

"I'm in the infirmary, apparently not allowed to use my powers, and can't fight that well."

"Okay . . . " Percy reached in his blue hoodie front pockets, pulling out a deck of cards. "How about we play Go Fish?"

"Fine, but you're going down, _Principe mare bellissimo."_ I couldn't resist. I tested those words out, my spirits lifting. When I was younger, I always wanted to call Percy that.

"You called me what?" Percy wondered.

I hid a smile. "It's a secret," I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did add a few more chapters on my FanFiction account, but I think it ruined the story. They kissed and married, and it was horribly cliché. 
> 
> Thank you - to people who read, commented, kudos, bookmarked - so so much.


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